So this is what they mean when they say: “It was the best day of my life”

February 13th, 2008

Look! Look to your left.. Do you see? I’ve crossed out Problem #22! I joined a women’s baseball team… Rejoice!

I’m happy I joined, and practice was fun and all (more on that later) but really, I’m just thrilled that I finally could cross something off this horrible list and changed my cute little masthead above to say, “My 98 Problems”. This is a boost that I’m in desperate need of. This is the 15 pounds lost in one week Biggest Loser episode of my blog. I may be standing up here with just a sports bra on, but goddammit, I crossed off a problem!

The baseball team I joined is called The Chicago Skyline. I’ve only met 2 team members, and someone else who I think was our manager? Or maybe she’s a team member too, I’m not sure. But they all seem like the bee’s knees so far. The practice wasn’t an official practice per se, it was more of a warm up. Or for me, an I-haven’t-thrown-a-ball-in-10-years, sorry-I-almost-smashed-your-skull-just-then-up.

The warm-up had women from other teams in the league, too, like the Chicago Gems. I think these women train MLB players on their days off. Whilst blindfolded. Seriously, they were hitting line-drives like i’ve never seen. And pitching baseball style, so fast. So fast. I used to be a fast-pitch softball pitcher, but compared to this, that shit was kiddie tee-ball.

I have a feeling that before the season is up I will have:

- lost a tooth

- maybe have broken something

- increased my daily swearing my 60%

- Big arm muscles*

*Big being relative to what current arm muscles are now, with final size not to exceed that of a 10-year-old boy. Not available in all areas. Check future posts of my99problems.com for details.

We practice again the week after next. I just can’t wait to wear fancy baseball pants and pull my socks up high. I think i’ll get that anti-glare business for my eyes, too.

Entry Filed under: Problem Solved